The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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