dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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