New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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