Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
