I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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