so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
