I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
