wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
