I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Randomize
