I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
