she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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