at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
