I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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