I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You need a sexual gate keeper
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize