just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm passing your future prison.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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