Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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