I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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