She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
