As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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