Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
