I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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