He is an equal opportunity slut.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
