Kiss
Puke
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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