Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
