ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Randomize
