Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize