I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
