yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
