Your face is a jimmy john
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
