but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
