I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
