i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
