i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
