she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
