I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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