After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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