does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
