Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
