New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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