Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize