My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
she told me i tasted like america
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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