glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
