I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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