Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize