so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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