I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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