I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
