i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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