We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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