No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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