There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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