I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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