Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
