I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
