I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
