I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
