I want to make a zoo with you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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