True but thats because hes a fetus.
from now on my penis is your penis
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
